Hi there! I'm Charon; unholy effigy of death, ferryman of Hades, and host of Television's "PENDULUM OF FORTUNE!" - - - Today, however, I'll be filling a much larger role... Your personal, one-on-one, pocket-sized chaperon through the world we call MIDLIFE!I've served as the head of MidLife's Psychopomp Agency for the past thirty centuries, assuring that every newly deceased individual becomes both well adjusted and culturally functional in our vastly unique culture. Needless to say, this is no easy task; MidLife is as anomalous as it is immense, and, as such, it is vital for our guiding hand to be strong, trustworthy, and knowledgeable. We provide services such as free Psychopomps, Informational kiosks, and more; yet, as shown by recent studies, acclimation still proves to the most difficult aspect of interment into MidLife.
To aid in this challenging task, we've decided to pen this matter-of-fact handbook; a guide to everything you'll need to know as you settle in this extraordinary reality. With my lead (and with the occasional input of equally knowledgeable guests!), you'll learn why you're here, how you got here, when you'll leave, and much more.
Welcome to MidLife.
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| Charon, CEO of MLPA |