THE MLPD

A variety of MLPD Officers in their
respective traditional uniforms.

The MidLife Police Department is the largest protection agency in existence - one so massively proficient, it has almost entirely overtaken the need for a proper Government. The MLPD proudly serves you and you only - keeping you safe, happy, and on-track.

Each Officer is always ready to protect the public, having been trained especially for MidLife's unique conditions and environments. In fact, more than 70% of MLPD Officers died while in service - sacrificing their very lives for the good of others. If that ain't trustworthy, I don't know what is!

Jack O'Leashey, a high-ranking official of the MLPD, has shared with us some insight about the men and women he has trained...

The MLPD's number one enemy.

"I am JACK O'LASHEY, the HEAD ENFORCEMENT COLONEL OF COMMANDING COMMANDERS FOR THE MLPD. I do NOT have a HEAD. WHY do I MENTION IT?! Because I LOST it in a WAR! Which one? IT DOES NOT MATTER!

I AM the most POWERFUL and WELL EDU-MA-CATED LEADER in the UNIVERSE! I train EACH and EVERY incoming trainee to be the most EFFICIENT OFFICERS IMAGINABLE!

I make sure EACH and EVERY OFFICER is READY for ANYTHING! Especially them DAMN SQUIRRELS! STEALIN' my bones... MY BONES ARE NOT ACORNS. WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY TO DESTROY ALL SQUIRRELS! I WILL SEE THE END OF SCIURIDAE!!!"